December 24, 1982
I am five years old. My sister Jeri baked cookies and put them into glass jars for our family members. This is what she will give to everybody this Christmas. The house has been very busy.
My dad's brother Barry, his wife Cynthia, and my cousin Angelique will be here. They are going to sleep at our house. I have never met them before.
Christmas comes and goes. We still keep our tree up. When my uncle comes to the house, I am in my bedroom playing. My dad calls me to the living room where I see them. They talk about us. I'm known as "Mimi" and she is Angelique, but they call her Ange. I just see another child that I can play with and she's about my age.
Angelique wants to play with me. I don't know her well and I am very introverted. I go to my bedroom to color with my new pen that has 4 different colored inks (red, blue, black, and green). Angelique wants to color with my pen. I don't want her to. It's my pen and I don't want anyone else to touch it. She says, "You have to share. I am your cousin." I don't really care who she is. I don't want to share my pen. She takes it out of my hand and says, "Share." I punch her in the eye. She drops my pen and runs to the kitchen, crying to her mom. Her mom is cutting vegetables next to my mom.
Angelique cries while looking at me. I feel scared. I know I am going to get into trouble if she doesn't quiet down. I'm standing by my mom, and looking at Angelique. My dad hears Angelique crying, too. Angelique says, "She hit me." My dad tells me to come to his bedroom. I don't want to go.
I reluctantly head to my dad's bedroom. I am standing at his door, at attention, utter fear building up fast. My dad said, "Why did you hit her?" I said, "She took my pen from me." He said, "You shouldn't hit your cousin. That wasn't nice. You better go say sorry to her." I don't want to say sorry. I'm too shy and I have never had to apologize to anyone before.
I walk to the kitchen where Angelique still holds her mother's leg, tears drying on her face. I say, "Sorry," and we become friends again.
Dinnertime happens, and I am sitting on a stack of phonebooks at the kitchen table with my family. My cousin Vickie who had been my bully walks over to our Uncle Barry, hugging him from the side and says, "I love you. You're my godfather." She then says to Angelique, "That makes you my little sister." Vickie looks at me and scowls. She knows I hit her little "sister."
At bedtime, Angelique wants to sleep next to me on my bedroom floor. My mom put blankets down for us to share. My cousin Vickie is sleeping over too, but she takes my side of the bed that I share with my sister Jeri. Angelique and I lay on the floor. The house is quiet. I am glad someone is laying next to me.
My cousin and I talk and talk. Finally, she says, "You talk too much." I don't know what she means. My sister always talks to me at night. Angelique gets up and says, "I'm going to my mom and dad. I can't sleep because you talk too much." I'm left in the dark, alone on the floor. I am usually afraid to sleep alone, but I fall asleep quickly.
The following morning, my sister Jeri is taking the tree ornaments down. Vickie told me, "Angelique and I are going out to the backyard to play on the swings and make mudpies, and you are not invited." I looked at Jeri. I am thinking, "Thats my yard and my mud. That's my swingset." I am hurt. Jeri said, "Just ignore them. Help me take down the tree." I dropped one of the ornaments and it broke on the floor, and Vickie said, "Ooh, I'm telling your dad." I started to cry.
Later on, Vickie and Angelique came back to the living room and Jeri and I are still taking ornaments down. Vickie said, "I'm taking my sister, Angelique, to Shady Acres. Our mudpies are drying on the slide. You better not touch them." As soon as they leave, curious as to what a mudpie was, I go to the backyard, see the big, round piles of dirt on the top of my slide, and I push them down. They tumble down my slide and brake on the ground. I feel so satisfied.
I go back into the house for protection. I know Vickie is going to be livid and don't know if she is going to retaliate. When she and Angelique come back home, they check their mudpies. Vickie storms in the house and finds me sitting next to Jeri and says, "What did I say about the mudpies? I told you not to touch them and you did." I know Jeri isn't going to let Vickie hurt me. I stay next to her. Vickie grabs Angelique's hand and says, "Come on, sister. Let's go play without, Mimi." I do not care, because I know I am protected.
January 1983
The following day, I wake up early with my family. My uncle Barry has a treat for us. He is taking us to Disneyland. I don't know how the trip was paid, whether my father or mother, or my uncle paid for it, but all of us go to Disneyland. I stay with Jeri the entire time. My mom and dad do not go. My uncle has a station wagon, and I go into the back of the station wagon with my siblings and we head to the Happiest Place on Earth.
It's my first time at the Magical Kingdom, and it is still decorated for Christmas. It's prettier than anything I have ever seen. I love watching the parade the moment we get there. I've never been to a parade before. Christmas doesn't really mean anything to me yet, but it is so pretty, with everything so bright and colorful. I don't want to ever leave this place.
I don't know time yet. I don't know how many days it has been since Christmas. I don't know if we already had the New Year. But, I just know that my Uncle Barry and his family have to leave to Michigan, where they live. I don't know about missing anyone. I don't know about distance. I just know that I met this girl and now she's going away. I probably won't ever see her again, but I don't even understand that, either.
No Disneyland. No little girl to draw with. All our decorations are down. Vickie went home, too. Life goes back to normal again.
