Pre-Planning Christmas

Christmas is in 6 months.  My sister, husband, and I have discussed how we will not be doing a Christmas tree this year, because of my mom's advanced state in Alzheimer's Disease.  My mom was loving all the decorations from Christmas 2023, but as soon as it all came down, she was verbally and physically abusive.

I discussed this with her doctor and he agreed that rearranging things in our home can confuse someone in an advanced stage of Alzheimer's Disease (plus she also has Vascular Dementia).  What happened is my sister quietly took the decorations and tree down before any of us were awake, and rearranged the furniture back to the way it was.  When my mom woke up, she knew something was missing, but couldn't pinpoint what was wrong.  She began accusing my sister of stealing, being passive-aggressive, being aggressive, being violent, etc.

My mom didn't know what was "stolen" but came up with a different item all the time, whether it was her pajamas, suit, kimono, and even scissors.  She had no clue what was missing, but assumed it was something of hers and that the only person she could think of that would steal from her is my sister, because she was the one moving stuff around.

My mom has nothing to steal.  She has nothing to even borrow.  My mom is 5 feet nothing, probably 90lbs soaking wet, and in Alzheimer's has poor hygiene and very poor taste in "fashion."  None of us are that little, that desperate, or in whatever era of fashion my mom is in.  How can one steal when you live in the same house?  All of us work and buy our own stuff.  We buy my mom stuff, and in more recent times, much of my mom's stuff is gifted to her through Amazon by my amazing friends.  My mom does not own a suit, kimono, pajama set, or scissors.  She was very adamant all those things were stolen from her, constantly changing the items that were "stolen."   

We also took on my step-daughter's cat while she is deployed overseas.  The cat gets into everything.  She climbs and jumps on everything and attacks things that slightly move, like a foot, a plant, or even dust floating in the sunlight.  She WILL attack and climb the tree.  I just know it.  We all know it.

That said, NO Christmas tree this year, not even with a barrier to keep the cat away.  I did find some cute ideas on Pinterest (actual link to my pinterest board) such as hanging garland over the doorway, and maybe some bulbs hanging from the window sill.  Things that are higher up from the floor and away from the cat.  We shall see!

Starting Another Book

The Christmas Wedding

Before I end my day, I wanted to "jot down" that I went scrounging around my apartment for another book to read.  I know there are books around that I haven't read, which made me realize there are books I need to get rid of, too.  

I've always been a book reader, and for the last two or so years, I have put them down more than picking them up.  I will start one, and then lose interest, as my cell phone distracts me with notifications.  I will end up scrolling social media, reading my emails, playing a game, etc.  

I've made it a goal to read at LEAST 6 books this year.  My goal before was 12 books a year.  But, I have been juggling work, taking care of my mom, and trying to keep up with my own self-care.  I found a Christmas book in our utility closet.  So, I decided that would be the next book I read.  

It is titled "The Christmas Wedding," by James Patterson and Richard DiLallo.  I don't recall where I bought it, but before I started actively blogging again, I purchased a Christmas book because I wanted to start reading Christmas stories around Christmas, every year.  Last year, I thought I could watch Christmas movies, but I have a hard time sitting still long enough to watch anything.  My mind always wanders back to my cell phone (such a bad habit).

Christmas 2023

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!” ― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

2023 is a bittersweet Christmas and is probably my mother's last Christmas with us.  That's our reality.  Every day could be her last, in this End-Stage Alzheimer's.  There's just no way to know as she gets more forgetful (not just in memory, but in how to physically function).  She also has become weaker by the day.  We are also both sick as well.

To me, it was very important that her family be there for Christmas, even though I have flu-like symptoms.  It isn't about me.  Time is all my mom has left.  I wish people would put their differences aside and think about my mom, instead of whatever it is they are mad about.  Shamefully, not everyone came over.  It was expected, but still hoped for something different.  It is what it is.  We still had fun.

We bought lots of food, and spent hours cooking.  But, we made the best of our Christmas.  This Christmas included my mom, my sister Jeri, her boyfriend Geoffrey, my children's father Mike, my two sons Kalib and Christopher, my husband Trevor, and myself.  Small and intimate.  

Our endeared neighbors Shawn and Katie also came over for a short time.  They had their family to visit.  They gave us an extremely soft and beautiful, fuzzy, faux fur blanket.  We gave them wine.  

My mom has been lying down a lot.  She doesn't have much of an appetite these days.  She can barely have a conversation.  I made her sit up for Christmas.  She was happy to have us around her.  She was showered with gifts.  I only wanted to share a handful of the many photos we took.  I'm glad I took photos and video (which I won't share).  

Geoffrey got his Cowboy's football for future autographs from me and Trevor.

Mike got a special hoodie made with recycled bottles from me and Trevor.

Three Generations photo with my sons and their grandmother and me.  We've never taken a Christmas picture with her before.

Trevor giving my sister the bird finger for this idea of wrapping each sock individually and tying them together tightly with ribbon.

My mom and her Christmas socks.  She's always cold.  It's a symptom of her Alzheimer's progression.

A Moai glass vase my sister got me for my plants.

Money from me and Trevor, so Jeri could get her nails done after her cast comes off.

Surprisingly, my daughter sent us a gift.  A projector. 

A cookbook on Edibles for Trevor the cannabis enthusiast.

Christopher's pajamas from me and Trevor.

Almond cookies from Santa (of course it was me).  Santa Claus used to give all my children cookies every year.  I haven't forgotten.

A teeshirt for Christopher from Trevor and me.

Dave & Busters

 Trevor and I were invited to Dave & Busters for another Christmas party.  I had to ask for the evening off from work to attend.  I'm glad we got to go, because I enjoy socializing sometimes, though I am an introvert.  I also bought myself a curling iron for the first time in over 20 years, and did something different to my hair.

I had fried pickles for the first time, and they are to die for.  We ended up leaving early because, Trevor had to be at work at 1am, leaving little room for sleep.  

No mistletoe, but always an XoXo 

The dinner party.

Trevor and Jose

The Bungalow

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” ― George Carlin 

 I was invited to a Christmas party at The Bungalow in Long Beach, California with my "plus one," who is my husband.  Having been constantly caring for my mom, or constantly working, we haven't had much time to go and have fun on our own.  I asked my son Kalib to watch Grandma so we could go out.  I'm so glad he was able to cover us.  We had so much fun.  

The Bungalow is an intimate bar and restaurant, with beautiful and contemporary decor and many rooms to hang out in.  We got the room with the lit Christmas Tree and Snow man.  There was a full bar, and a fireplace, overlooking the marina.  

Trevor and Me - this became our Christmas card picture.

Me and the fashionable Jamie

Me and sweet Gilbert

Me and Trevor - Christmas card picture #2

Trevor and the stylish Jaylin

Me, A'driana, Gisselle, and Jordan

The party before the late birds got there.

Reindeer Antlers

My reindeer antlers.

Trevor and I try to make it to the Aloha Fair every month.  During November and December, they really went all out with their Christmas crafts and Christmas decorations for sale.  We were really there to see if there was ANYTHING we could get that wouldn't break our bank, or look cheap.  

We found a vendor, Likohina's Tropical Butters, selling delicious fruit butters (pineapple, lilikoi, and guava).  We ended up buying all three flavors.  Two as gifts and some for us.  On the way out of the fair, I saw a vendor selling Hawaiian print Christmas stockings, but before we got to her station, a woman called us into her shop.  She sold ornaments, cards, and reindeer antlers.  

I thought the antlers were cute, but I wasn't wanting to spend $5 on Dollar Tree antlers with a plumeria hot-glued on.  I felt bad though, because people kept passing her spot as I stood there trying to get out of shopping there.  I was suckered in when she said, "But they are ONLY $5..." and gave her $5 and wore the antlers out.  To be honest, I really like seeing people do well, and I really like to support small businesses, but sometimes, things are way too overpriced for Dollar Store crafts.  

I, recently, watched a video by a woman who sells crafts, and she stated that most people who sell Dollar Tree gift baskets and other small crafts have customers who also shop at Dollar Tree, and recognize the products.  They will sell $10 worth of stuff for $30 at arts and craft fairs and people will not purchase them, because they know they can make it themselves for $20 less.

We did end up buying my stepsons Hawaiian print Christmas stockings and stuffed them with Dollar store candy, to mail out before Christmas, just for funzies.  They were so cute, and I wished I had taken pictures of the stockings before we mailed them out.  

A hui hou!

Emotional Christmas Time

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” ― Charles Dickens

This year has been an emotional roller coaster.  I have had moments where my daughter was in my life, and then she was no longer there.  I've accepted the fact, she is now an adult and the distance between us have made us strangers, and we just do not see eye to eye.  I don't know why that is, but I have other things to focus on and trying to figure that mess out is not on the agenda.

I was told I was needed in California.  I came back.  That wasn't good enough.  I was ignored.  I was reeled back in to another falling out.  I felt disrespected, though that may not have been the intent.  Either way, this Christmas, will be 7 years without my daughter, and I am ok with that.  That relationship can be worked on at some other time.  She has a husband and a home to tend.  She can begin paving the way for her own traditions.  I have so much else to deal with than to deal with someone I can't seem to ever please, when every one else is pleased with me and proud of me.

I have been spending every holiday this year with my mother.  Being in end-stage Alzheimer's Disease, every day could be her last.  So, I spend day after day with her.  I spend the holidays with her.  I have spent birthdays with her.  She doesn't remember what we have done, or how holiday are done, but she certainly likes having people around.  My life is about the rest of hers.

With my mom staying with us, now, we are trying to figure out how to fit my sister's Christmas tree into the space.  I do wish I had my own place again, because I could decorate how I want.  I am overtaken by my sister's holiday style.  I like my own.  Her style is a little bit of everything.  My style is themed to Hawaii.  

Since my husband and my very first Christmas, every year someone (be it his mother or another loved one) has given us a Mele Kalikimaka ornament or something similar.  The ornaments represent the island lifestyle (surfing Santa, palm trees, coconuts, etc).  That's the theme I have been building for at least 7 years now.  

Last year, it was my sister's tree and decor.  This year, it will be my sister's tree and decor AGAIN.  I miss my own stuff, which sits in bins in the garage.  I don't have the energy to protest.

With the blues in my life this year, I have been turning down lots of festivities with certain people, because if my mom can't go, then I won't go.  I have been able to appear places, such as the time I decided to go bowling with my coworkers.  I ended up having loads of fun.  And to be honest, my daughter was there and things were A-OK.

I am going to a Christmas party in December, and I am excited.  My son will sit for me and hang out with his grandmother so I can attend this party.  Christmas time is all I need right now.  It's the jolliest time of year.  

Mele Kalikimaka!

Family Photo 2022

“Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmastime.” ― Laura Ingalls Wilder

This is Trevor and my first family Christmas photo with my adult children.  Unfortunately, my daughter has been absent.  I chose the colors blue and beige for the theme color this year.  It's not my regular color, and I definitely prefer red, but I figure nobody wants Christmas colors in frames all year long.  Blue is less "Christmassy" and can be viewed all year.  Our initial spot to be photographed was by reservation only (I did not know this), and then our second location was extremely sunny, so rather than keep trying for a better place, we decided we would get something to eat first.  

After brunch, we found a different location in a building with Spanish architecture, and thought that it was amazing enough to try for a good photo.  

So, this is the best photo of the bunch and will be used in Christmas cards this year.

My sons have gotten so grown up, and I am so happy to have been able to document the holidays over the years.  

Ugly Vest

“I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

My goofball husband wore his ugly Christmas vest to work and one of my Christmas bow earrings.  He has no shame.  It's so cold in Oregon, but he doesn't care about that when it comes to being gaudy.

I lucked out in having met and married someone who likes the holidays as much as I do, especially Christmas.  Trevor is such a great sport and fun partner in shenanigans!

Gift for Trevor

“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.” ― Calvin Coolidge

Trevor saw this teeshirt on a Facebook ad and thought it was funny.  He reshared the advertisement and said, "Want."  I didn't think anything of it.  

Well, our friend, Daniel, came by our apartment and bought two, one for him and one for Trevor.  

Of course, Trevor had to put it on to be twinsies with Daniel.

Christmas Photos 2021

Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day
That's the island greeting that we send to you
From the land where palm trees sway
Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine by day, and all the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way
to say merry Christmas to you
―R. Alex Anderson

 

Usually, every November, I start preparing for Christmas cards.  I want my cards to get to my loved ones before Christmas.  These Christmas pictures came out beautifully.  It showcases my love for Tiki art and Trevor's love for the Green Bay Packers.  This was taken in our apartment in front of our tree.  Of course, his mug actually had coffee in it.  

Green Bay Packers Tree

“When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness.” ― Bob Hope

Here's our first apartment together since Trevor got back to Salem, Oregon from his stay in Hawaii.  I was in the Christmas spirit early (November), but I didn't want to seem ridiculous to my peers, so instead of decorating with a "Christmas" theme, I decorated my tree in Green Bay Packers for the month of November.  We are Green Bay Packers fans, so this worked out for Trevor.  On December 1st, I'd change it to Mele Kalikimaka. 

This may be a tradition in the years to come.  

So, if you ever want to get us something for Christmas, Green Bay Packers is perfect for us.  Anything Green Bay Packers!  

I want this tree so gaudy and cheesy (pun intended) in future pre-Christmases, during football season.

Christmas Cookies

“Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl. But it warmed more than your body. It warmed your heart...filled it, too, with melody that would last forever.” ― Bess Streeter Aldrich, Song of Years

I made homemade chocolate sprinkle sugar cookies, peppermint sugar cookies, and snicker doodles.  

I didn't have a lot of ingredients, so I made them using a recipe I saved on Pinterest that only called for 3 ingredients: sugar, flour, and butter.  I added what I wanted to it for decoration and funsies.

They taste ok.  I know I have made better cookies, but I've been in the holiday spirit.  They look pretty.

Gift from Hawaii

“Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things." "But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.” ― Lemony Snicket, The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming: A Christmas Story

 

Trevor's daughters' mother Maile sent us a gift for Christmas from Hawaii.  I put a bow on it and put it under the tree. Meanwhile, Reeses and Kikiks the mother-daughter dog duo were excited to see what I brought in from outside. 

Christmas Candy

“It was the beginning of the greatest Christmas ever. Little food. No presents. But there was a snowman in their basement.” ― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

 It's my first year at the RV Park, and one of the tenants, Donna, gave me these treats to take home.  How kind!  It really makes me feel blessed for working with such an awesome team and grateful tenants.

Real Tree, New Home

“Christmas it seems to me is a necessary festival; we require a season when we can regret all the flaws in our human relationships: it is the feast of failure, sad but consoling.” ― Graham Greene, Travels with My Aunt

2020 had taken an abrupt turn the worst.  Trevor's dad James Franklin Dillard's widow, Tina, had a serious medical problem, that landed her in the hospital.  She also has a boyfriend, and he and Trevor had a serious falling out afterward.  Right before Christmas, too. 

We were really hoping to clean up their home and celebrate Tina coming back, but that didn't happen.  Due to the turn of events, we moved out immediately to a hotel. Within hours of moving, we had a new temporary place while our future apartment is being handled.  

It was nice to move into a nice home and have a real Christmas tree. Our roommate already had her tree up, but we added candy canes and some more of her ornaments to fill the branches up.  Her name is Biany. 

 Trevor fell asleep on the couch watching sports TV.  I'm just glad the holidays are coming up and we have a place to call "home."  This was in South Salem, Oregon.  Home is where the heart is.  Merry Christmas.

Kittens and Trees

“Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.” ― Peg Bracken

Our friend Danny invited us over to his home.  While we were there he said his wife Tanya got a kitten.  They live in Keizer, OR (but are moving to Independence, Oregon soon).  They also got a Christmas tree, but couldn't put ornaments up because the kitten kept climbing the tree.  She certainly is a cute cat!

Tropical Tree Skirt

“Christmas is a day of meaning and traditions, a special day spent in the warm circle of family and friends.” ― Margaret Thatcher

I had this tropical tree skirt on my Amazon Wishlist.  My sister, Jeri, ordered it for me for my birthday, and it came in time for Christmas.  Our roommate, Biany, already has a tree and tree skirt up.  Oh well, next year.

I'm determined to do a tropical tree, reminiscent of Hawaii, where my wonderful fiance is from.  

We have begun our Mele Kalikimaka and Island Traditions ornament collection to add to our future Christmases.  

Oh, how I love the season!

Oregonian Photos

“Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart. ” ― Washington Irving

So, California Christmases are chilly.  Hawaiian Christmases are warm.  Oregonian Christmases are wet, icy, snowy, and COLD.  

This day is my birthday.  I turned 43.  I decided for my birthday I wanted to take Christmas pictures.  These came out gorgeous.  It captures the weather as well as the colors of Gladstone, Oregon, just before Fall turns over to Winter.

Green Bay Packers Ornament

“I truly believe that if we keep telling the Christmas story, singing the Christmas songs, and living the Christmas spirit, we can bring joy and happiness and peace to this world.” ― Norman Vincent Peale

I ordered these Green Bay Packers NFL ornaments in Trevor's tradition of a new ornament every year.  I received them tonight.  

I know when he comes back to Oregon, he will appreciate our first Packers ornament.  It's our team.  I wish I could use them, but I won't till he comes back.

I can't wait to see his reaction.