Christmas 2023

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!” ― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

2023 is a bittersweet Christmas and is probably my mother's last Christmas with us.  That's our reality.  Every day could be her last, in this End-Stage Alzheimer's.  There's just no way to know as she gets more forgetful (not just in memory, but in how to physically function).  She also has become weaker by the day.  We are also both sick as well.

To me, it was very important that her family be there for Christmas, even though I have flu-like symptoms.  It isn't about me.  Time is all my mom has left.  I wish people would put their differences aside and think about my mom, instead of whatever it is they are mad about.  Shamefully, not everyone came over.  It was expected, but still hoped for something different.  It is what it is.  We still had fun.

We bought lots of food, and spent hours cooking.  But, we made the best of our Christmas.  This Christmas included my mom, my sister Jeri, her boyfriend Geoffrey, my children's father Mike, my two sons Kalib and Christopher, my husband Trevor, and myself.  Small and intimate.  

Our endeared neighbors Shawn and Katie also came over for a short time.  They had their family to visit.  They gave us an extremely soft and beautiful, fuzzy, faux fur blanket.  We gave them wine.  

My mom has been lying down a lot.  She doesn't have much of an appetite these days.  She can barely have a conversation.  I made her sit up for Christmas.  She was happy to have us around her.  She was showered with gifts.  I only wanted to share a handful of the many photos we took.  I'm glad I took photos and video (which I won't share).  

Geoffrey got his Cowboy's football for future autographs from me and Trevor.

Mike got a special hoodie made with recycled bottles from me and Trevor.

Three Generations photo with my sons and their grandmother and me.  We've never taken a Christmas picture with her before.

Trevor giving my sister the bird finger for this idea of wrapping each sock individually and tying them together tightly with ribbon.

My mom and her Christmas socks.  She's always cold.  It's a symptom of her Alzheimer's progression.

A Moai glass vase my sister got me for my plants.

Money from me and Trevor, so Jeri could get her nails done after her cast comes off.

Surprisingly, my daughter sent us a gift.  A projector. 

A cookbook on Edibles for Trevor the cannabis enthusiast.

Christopher's pajamas from me and Trevor.

Almond cookies from Santa (of course it was me).  Santa Claus used to give all my children cookies every year.  I haven't forgotten.

A teeshirt for Christopher from Trevor and me.

Dave & Busters

 Trevor and I were invited to Dave & Busters for another Christmas party.  I had to ask for the evening off from work to attend.  I'm glad we got to go, because I enjoy socializing sometimes, though I am an introvert.  I also bought myself a curling iron for the first time in over 20 years, and did something different to my hair.

I had fried pickles for the first time, and they are to die for.  We ended up leaving early because, Trevor had to be at work at 1am, leaving little room for sleep.  

No mistletoe, but always an XoXo 

The dinner party.

Trevor and Jose

The Bungalow

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” ― George Carlin 

 I was invited to a Christmas party at The Bungalow in Long Beach, California with my "plus one," who is my husband.  Having been constantly caring for my mom, or constantly working, we haven't had much time to go and have fun on our own.  I asked my son Kalib to watch Grandma so we could go out.  I'm so glad he was able to cover us.  We had so much fun.  

The Bungalow is an intimate bar and restaurant, with beautiful and contemporary decor and many rooms to hang out in.  We got the room with the lit Christmas Tree and Snow man.  There was a full bar, and a fireplace, overlooking the marina.  

Trevor and Me - this became our Christmas card picture.

Me and the fashionable Jamie

Me and sweet Gilbert

Me and Trevor - Christmas card picture #2

Trevor and the stylish Jaylin

Me, A'driana, Gisselle, and Jordan

The party before the late birds got there.

Ugly Christmas Sweater Party

“Peace on earth will come to stay, When we live Christmas every day.” ― Helen Steiner Rice

Pam and Daniel, me and Trevor

Daniel's dog Draco

My nephew Daniel, me and Trevor

My nephew Daniel (my late sister April's son) had an ugly Christmas sweater party.  This was my first Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.

Christmas Eve in Kailua, HI

“Christmas was definitely the best thing ever, even better than pizza. But instead of all her favorite toppings, Amitola was surrounded by all her favorite people.” ― Aishabella Sheikh, Jungle Princess

The first time I ever used a Christmas filter on my photos.  

Christmas Eve was spent at Trevor's sister's home.  This would be the first time I met majority of his Hawaii family.  His ex would be there with their daughters.  I'm a little intimidated, because he and I don't have much of a history and I just want to fit in.  

I miss my family more than anything, and will be spending it with everyone else's family.  I'm trying to enjoy Christmas, but I have a huge, gaping hole in my heart. 

Thankfully, Maile, Trevor's daughters' mother was actually very kind to me and so was the rest of his family.  It will take some time for his daughters to come around, but I am determined to at least be a rock in this man's life.  He had been away more than he'd been home, so I feel for his children.  Oh, how I miss mine, though!

Trevor had to go to work that evening, and so I was left behind at his sister's house.  I am so much of an introvert, that I didn't know what to do or to say, being left in the house with his family.  His mother, Jodie, told me to follow her to her bedroom.  

Jodie climbed onto her bed, and told me to have a seat in the chair on the side of the room.  She began to ask me questions about myself and tell me things about Trevor.  It was nice to get to know him through someone else's eyes.  

The Exes and the New.  David (husband of Maile), Maile (Trevor's kids' mom), me and Trevor.

Me and Maile

3 Generations: Konane (Trevor's daughter), Trevor, and Trevor's mom Jodie

Trevor's cousin Ben and his fiance Kela smiling for the camera. 

My future mother in law, Jodie, and her granddaughter Hannah

Trevor and 2 of his 3 girls, Malie and Konane

Me, before we left for Kailua

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BC Company Christmas Party

 

There are 3 locations of the particular company I work for.  All 3 locations got together at the owner's house for a Christmas party.  I won a tower (the largest gift) of desserts.  Santa Claus was there.  Everybody was having a good time.  We all were forced to take off whatever socks we had on to put on festive socks that waited for us upon entering the door.

An Anderson Christmas

 

Normally, Christmas would have been spent with my side of the family.  This particular Christmas was spent in San Bernardino at my children's father Mike's sister Sarah's home.  After gifts were opened and trash was thrown away, they pulled out Guitar Hero and Karaoke, and the kids, along with their Aunt Sarah played games.  

Christmas 1988

Christmas of 1988 welcomed a new addition to our family.  I am the little girl looking down at the small child, my cousin Mathew.  He was kissing our 1st cousin 1x removed, Alyssandra.  She was born earlier in the month.  Looking on, in the green beret (I have yet to find one for myself) is my great-aunt Betty Arcala.  In the teal sweater is my brother Tommy.  Our great-uncle Tony (Antonio Arcala) was holding Alyssandra.  This was taken at my Aunt Jacki Arcala's apartment in Long Beach, California.