Las Vegas 2024

We went to Las Vegas, Nevada and to add to my collection of cute Christmas ornaments, I bought two Santa Ornaments.  I know I always want tiki and island decor, but I could not resist.  Santa takes vacations, too.  They do call Las Vegas "the 9th Island" because so many Hawaiians have moved to Las Vegas.  

We got these at the ABC Store on Fremont Street, which is a store located every few buildings on the Waikiki strip in Oahu.  If you're looking for Li Hing Mui candies and powders, the ABC Store on Fremont Street has it all.  They have expensive chocolate mac nuts and Hawaiian coffee, that you can get cheaper in the Islands.  

Anyway, Vegas Santa will be decorating my tree this year.  I don't care if my sister puts her tree up, I'm putting mine up too, even if it's a little tree, because I want to look at my ornaments.

Christmas 2023

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!” ― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

2023 is a bittersweet Christmas and is probably my mother's last Christmas with us.  That's our reality.  Every day could be her last, in this End-Stage Alzheimer's.  There's just no way to know as she gets more forgetful (not just in memory, but in how to physically function).  She also has become weaker by the day.  We are also both sick as well.

To me, it was very important that her family be there for Christmas, even though I have flu-like symptoms.  It isn't about me.  Time is all my mom has left.  I wish people would put their differences aside and think about my mom, instead of whatever it is they are mad about.  Shamefully, not everyone came over.  It was expected, but still hoped for something different.  It is what it is.  We still had fun.

We bought lots of food, and spent hours cooking.  But, we made the best of our Christmas.  This Christmas included my mom, my sister Jeri, her boyfriend Geoffrey, my children's father Mike, my two sons Kalib and Christopher, my husband Trevor, and myself.  Small and intimate.  

Our endeared neighbors Shawn and Katie also came over for a short time.  They had their family to visit.  They gave us an extremely soft and beautiful, fuzzy, faux fur blanket.  We gave them wine.  

My mom has been lying down a lot.  She doesn't have much of an appetite these days.  She can barely have a conversation.  I made her sit up for Christmas.  She was happy to have us around her.  She was showered with gifts.  I only wanted to share a handful of the many photos we took.  I'm glad I took photos and video (which I won't share).  

Geoffrey got his Cowboy's football for future autographs from me and Trevor.

Mike got a special hoodie made with recycled bottles from me and Trevor.

Three Generations photo with my sons and their grandmother and me.  We've never taken a Christmas picture with her before.

Trevor giving my sister the bird finger for this idea of wrapping each sock individually and tying them together tightly with ribbon.

My mom and her Christmas socks.  She's always cold.  It's a symptom of her Alzheimer's progression.

A Moai glass vase my sister got me for my plants.

Money from me and Trevor, so Jeri could get her nails done after her cast comes off.

Surprisingly, my daughter sent us a gift.  A projector. 

A cookbook on Edibles for Trevor the cannabis enthusiast.

Christopher's pajamas from me and Trevor.

Almond cookies from Santa (of course it was me).  Santa Claus used to give all my children cookies every year.  I haven't forgotten.

A teeshirt for Christopher from Trevor and me.

Christmas 2019

“Were I a philosopher, I should write a philosophy of toys, showing that nothing else in life need to be taken seriously, and that Christmas Day in the company of children is one of the few occasions on which men become entirely alive.” ― Robert Lynd

 

My nephew Daniel, knowing how depressed I have been, decided to pick me up from Salem and take me to his place in Portland for Christmas.  They had a gift under their tree for me and I had a gift for them.  They gave me a Bath and Bodyworks Winter Apple trio (and it smells so good).  I got Daniel a Green Bay Packer's throw blanket and Pam some European chocolates.  I was just happy to be around family, even if just one family member.  In Trevor's tradition, I got us a Green Bay Packer's ornament for a future Christmas tree.

Christmas in California

“Christmas is a bridge. We need bridges as the river of time flows past. Today's Christmas should mean creating happy hours for tomorrow and reliving those of yesterday.” ― Gladys Bagg Taber

 My sister, Jeri, decorates and feeds the family every year for the year-end holidays.  Here are a couple pictures she sent me while I was in Oregon.

Christmas Eve in Kailua, HI

“Christmas was definitely the best thing ever, even better than pizza. But instead of all her favorite toppings, Amitola was surrounded by all her favorite people.” ― Aishabella Sheikh, Jungle Princess

The first time I ever used a Christmas filter on my photos.  

Christmas Eve was spent at Trevor's sister's home.  This would be the first time I met majority of his Hawaii family.  His ex would be there with their daughters.  I'm a little intimidated, because he and I don't have much of a history and I just want to fit in.  

I miss my family more than anything, and will be spending it with everyone else's family.  I'm trying to enjoy Christmas, but I have a huge, gaping hole in my heart. 

Thankfully, Maile, Trevor's daughters' mother was actually very kind to me and so was the rest of his family.  It will take some time for his daughters to come around, but I am determined to at least be a rock in this man's life.  He had been away more than he'd been home, so I feel for his children.  Oh, how I miss mine, though!

Trevor had to go to work that evening, and so I was left behind at his sister's house.  I am so much of an introvert, that I didn't know what to do or to say, being left in the house with his family.  His mother, Jodie, told me to follow her to her bedroom.  

Jodie climbed onto her bed, and told me to have a seat in the chair on the side of the room.  She began to ask me questions about myself and tell me things about Trevor.  It was nice to get to know him through someone else's eyes.  

The Exes and the New.  David (husband of Maile), Maile (Trevor's kids' mom), me and Trevor.

Me and Maile

3 Generations: Konane (Trevor's daughter), Trevor, and Trevor's mom Jodie

Trevor's cousin Ben and his fiance Kela smiling for the camera. 

My future mother in law, Jodie, and her granddaughter Hannah

Trevor and 2 of his 3 girls, Malie and Konane

Me, before we left for Kailua

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Visiting Maggie

“If you want to see me You better hurry before the Christmas morning I'm about disappear.” ― Jordan Hoechlin

We did not have an eventful Christmas, but we still decided to head to San Bernardino to visit Mike's brother Tyrek.  Our first stop would be to reunite with Maggie, Tyrek's daughter, that we had not seen since she was two years old.  She was living in a group home and had no family around.  She was so happy to see us, to know someone still cared and that she had family.  Unfortunately, my daughter Sienna was very cold toward her as can be seen in the photo.  It was a very awkward situation.  I wish things could have been different.

I was very embarrassed and shocked and told Maggie's mother I apologize if Maggie felt bad after our visit.  Otherwise, she seemed to be a sweet young lady.  She needed to be validated and given a little love.  

Mike did most of the talking and dragging conversation out of Maggie and she was a lot more talkative than I had imagined.  I remembered her from when I took her to Disneyland when she was 2 years old.  Here she was at twenty.

Christmas 2014

This Christmas my brother invited his wife Kathy (they'd been living apart) and my sister invited her new boyfriend Geoffrey for Christmas.  

Christmas 2013

“Twas a cold Yuletide evening, and I wandered the stacks, shelving multiple titles that the patrons brought back. We toiled overtime at our library here, 'cause the powers that be cut our staffing this year.” ― David Davis, Librarian's Night Before Christmas

This Christmas was a good one.  Mike, the kids, and I spent it over at my sister Jeri's.  Unfortunately, the quality of the photos aren't great but the memories were.

No Cookies for Santa

“Cookies are made of butter and love.” – Norwegian Proverb

It's the first year ever with no cookies for Santa or glittery oatmeal for the reindeer.  As a matter of fact, no Santa is expected, and no gifts from Santa under the tree.  That's relieving on the bank account, but not my heart. 

Our home life has been in turbulence between me, my partner, and my teenaged daughter.  Earlier in the year, we were in counseling, mainly for her, but also as a family.  In an explosive and agitated state, defering from the reason why were in counseling, my kids' father stated that I keep babying the youngest and abruptly said, "There's no such thing as Santa." 

My son handled it well, but I felt so bad for him, because at 9 years old (he just turned 10 three months ago), he still believed. I actually didn't know how to make him not believe, and wasn't sure if I should ever break him the news, or would he just grow out of it, or would kids at school tell him.  It was such a harsh way of breaking it to him.  His answer was, "It's ok, I knew it anyway," which was a lie.  My son really believed.  He even told me he had a falling out with his best friend because his friend said, "Santa is fake."  

On the other hand, it makes me sad that my children are all big. My daughter has 1 year left before she's an adult, my son Kalib has less than 4 years, and Chris has 8 more years.  I don't know how much longer we will be a family unit under one household with the sad feelings I have as of late.