Late Christmas

“It comes every year and will go on forever. And along with Christmas belong the keepsakes and the customs. Those humble, everyday things a mother clings to, and ponders, like Mary in the secret spaces of her heart.” ― Marjorie Holmes

My sister, Jeri, sent me an Amazon gift card for Christmas while I was living in Makaha Valley, Hawaii.  I moved to Kalihi in January 2017.  Our home didn't have some essentials which were our mugs, cooking knives, and a cutting board.  It was a gift card well spent.  

Mele Kalikimaka

“I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter-eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a carefree, low - pressure time - that's one of the things I love about it),...” ― Stephen King

Trevor, received a tiny, decorated bag at work from his Filipino co-workers.  The bag is kind of feminine, so he passed it on to me.

The contents were two boxes of whitening soap, by a company called Magical!  I was like, "What are you trying to tell me?"  He said, "Nothing.  I just saw two little soaps with a chick on it and thought I would give it to you."

What a sweetie pie for thinking of me.

What baffles me about this soap is the precedence of self-hate that darker completed Asians feel the need to lighten their skin.  Having grown up in beach cities of southern California, I loved a tan or "healthy glow" from having some sun light.  Lightening my skin has never been a thought that crossed my mind.

I love my freckles and beauty marks.  It makes me unique.  As the song goes..."A face without freckles is like a sky without stars."  Needless to say, that was an interesting gift.

The girls I live with had an explosive Christmas.  Their living room was so full of gift wrap when they were done, it looked like Christmas threw up all over.  I enjoyed watching the kids open their gifts.  It's the first Christmas without my children.  It warmed my heart a little to hear the squeals of grateful children on Christmas morning.  They call Trevor "Uncle Trevor" even though he's not biologically their uncle or even married into their family.  It's called "hanai" family, meaning an unofficial adoptive family member.

He got them a Mickey Mouse popcorn maker to share.  I love to see genuinely grateful children.

I didn't think I'd get a gift for Christmas, because to some, I was bad in 2016.  I just had a break-up from my kids father, and we were together for 21 years.  It will come to fruition, the blessing it was that we separated because in the end, good things will come for both of us.  We just don't know it, yet.

I live in Makaha Valley.  It's a small town on the far west side of O'ahu, Hawaii.  The neighbor girl across the street received a goat for Christmas.  It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen, yet.  

But, I did receive gifts.  I received a handmade quilt by Trevor's mom, Jodie.  Valerie gave us a personalized glass Christmas ornament.  Trevor bought me a my first Mele Kalikimaka ornament as is tradition in his family (giving an ornament every year).  He also gave me a rose, after driving an hour to come see me.  It certainly made a bittersweet Christmas a bit better.

Christmas Eve in Kailua, HI

“Christmas was definitely the best thing ever, even better than pizza. But instead of all her favorite toppings, Amitola was surrounded by all her favorite people.” ― Aishabella Sheikh, Jungle Princess

The first time I ever used a Christmas filter on my photos.  

Christmas Eve was spent at Trevor's sister's home.  This would be the first time I met majority of his Hawaii family.  His ex would be there with their daughters.  I'm a little intimidated, because he and I don't have much of a history and I just want to fit in.  

I miss my family more than anything, and will be spending it with everyone else's family.  I'm trying to enjoy Christmas, but I have a huge, gaping hole in my heart. 

Thankfully, Maile, Trevor's daughters' mother was actually very kind to me and so was the rest of his family.  It will take some time for his daughters to come around, but I am determined to at least be a rock in this man's life.  He had been away more than he'd been home, so I feel for his children.  Oh, how I miss mine, though!

Trevor had to go to work that evening, and so I was left behind at his sister's house.  I am so much of an introvert, that I didn't know what to do or to say, being left in the house with his family.  His mother, Jodie, told me to follow her to her bedroom.  

Jodie climbed onto her bed, and told me to have a seat in the chair on the side of the room.  She began to ask me questions about myself and tell me things about Trevor.  It was nice to get to know him through someone else's eyes.  

The Exes and the New.  David (husband of Maile), Maile (Trevor's kids' mom), me and Trevor.

Me and Maile

3 Generations: Konane (Trevor's daughter), Trevor, and Trevor's mom Jodie

Trevor's cousin Ben and his fiance Kela smiling for the camera. 

My future mother in law, Jodie, and her granddaughter Hannah

Trevor and 2 of his 3 girls, Malie and Konane

Me, before we left for Kailua

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