Mele Kalikimaka

“I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter-eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a carefree, low - pressure time - that's one of the things I love about it),...” ― Stephen King

Trevor, received a tiny, decorated bag at work from his Filipino co-workers.  The bag is kind of feminine, so he passed it on to me.

The contents were two boxes of whitening soap, by a company called Magical!  I was like, "What are you trying to tell me?"  He said, "Nothing.  I just saw two little soaps with a chick on it and thought I would give it to you."

What a sweetie pie for thinking of me.

What baffles me about this soap is the precedence of self-hate that darker completed Asians feel the need to lighten their skin.  Having grown up in beach cities of southern California, I loved a tan or "healthy glow" from having some sun light.  Lightening my skin has never been a thought that crossed my mind.

I love my freckles and beauty marks.  It makes me unique.  As the song goes..."A face without freckles is like a sky without stars."  Needless to say, that was an interesting gift.

The girls I live with had an explosive Christmas.  Their living room was so full of gift wrap when they were done, it looked like Christmas threw up all over.  I enjoyed watching the kids open their gifts.  It's the first Christmas without my children.  It warmed my heart a little to hear the squeals of grateful children on Christmas morning.  They call Trevor "Uncle Trevor" even though he's not biologically their uncle or even married into their family.  It's called "hanai" family, meaning an unofficial adoptive family member.

He got them a Mickey Mouse popcorn maker to share.  I love to see genuinely grateful children.

I didn't think I'd get a gift for Christmas, because to some, I was bad in 2016.  I just had a break-up from my kids father, and we were together for 21 years.  It will come to fruition, the blessing it was that we separated because in the end, good things will come for both of us.  We just don't know it, yet.

I live in Makaha Valley.  It's a small town on the far west side of O'ahu, Hawaii.  The neighbor girl across the street received a goat for Christmas.  It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen, yet.  

But, I did receive gifts.  I received a handmade quilt by Trevor's mom, Jodie.  Valerie gave us a personalized glass Christmas ornament.  Trevor bought me a my first Mele Kalikimaka ornament as is tradition in his family (giving an ornament every year).  He also gave me a rose, after driving an hour to come see me.  It certainly made a bittersweet Christmas a bit better.

Christmas Eve in Kailua, HI

“Christmas was definitely the best thing ever, even better than pizza. But instead of all her favorite toppings, Amitola was surrounded by all her favorite people.” ― Aishabella Sheikh, Jungle Princess

The first time I ever used a Christmas filter on my photos.  

Christmas Eve was spent at Trevor's sister's home.  This would be the first time I met majority of his Hawaii family.  His ex would be there with their daughters.  I'm a little intimidated, because he and I don't have much of a history and I just want to fit in.  

I miss my family more than anything, and will be spending it with everyone else's family.  I'm trying to enjoy Christmas, but I have a huge, gaping hole in my heart. 

Thankfully, Maile, Trevor's daughters' mother was actually very kind to me and so was the rest of his family.  It will take some time for his daughters to come around, but I am determined to at least be a rock in this man's life.  He had been away more than he'd been home, so I feel for his children.  Oh, how I miss mine, though!

Trevor had to go to work that evening, and so I was left behind at his sister's house.  I am so much of an introvert, that I didn't know what to do or to say, being left in the house with his family.  His mother, Jodie, told me to follow her to her bedroom.  

Jodie climbed onto her bed, and told me to have a seat in the chair on the side of the room.  She began to ask me questions about myself and tell me things about Trevor.  It was nice to get to know him through someone else's eyes.  

The Exes and the New.  David (husband of Maile), Maile (Trevor's kids' mom), me and Trevor.

Me and Maile

3 Generations: Konane (Trevor's daughter), Trevor, and Trevor's mom Jodie

Trevor's cousin Ben and his fiance Kela smiling for the camera. 

My future mother in law, Jodie, and her granddaughter Hannah

Trevor and 2 of his 3 girls, Malie and Konane

Me, before we left for Kailua

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Popcorn and Christmas Movies

“I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.” ― Harlan Miller

 

I have been away from my family for 4 months.  I live in Makaha Valley, Hawaii, and live with a family that has 3 daughter.  The eldes is in middle school, the middle child in elementary, and the youngest is a toddler.  Her name is Leilani. 

Leilani wasn't sure about me in the beginning.  She would stop my bedroom and peer in.  She would hide and peek.  But, the more I would wave at her or let her walk into my room, we became fast buddies.  

Being away from my family makes me crave family interaction.  Leilani gives me comfort.  She's my little pal.  Her mom, Valerie, made popcorn tonight.

We sat around to watch the original cartoon "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."  Leilani wouldn't share her popcorn, though.

Hawaiian Style Tree

“A Christmas candle is a lovely thing; It makes no noise at all, But softly gives itself away; While quite unselfish, it grows small.” ― Eva K. Logue

Ok, so the Hawaiian tree is weird compared to the type of fir tree I am used to, which is typically a Douglas Fir.  Anyway, this is the finishing touch.  I took pictures of the children I live with, Hekla, Athena, and Leilani and their cat, Kalia.  Kalia wouldn't leave the tree alone.  

Axel, the man of the house, did a great job stringing the lights on.  I was wondering how that was going to happen, because the tree branches are so sparse compared to ones that I am used to.  He had to use string to keep the lights from hanging all over the place.

The kids were so excited and the lady of the house, Valerie, pulled her decorations out and let her daughters add the ornaments.  I told the girls to try and get some of the ornaments inside the branches to fill the tree in.  

It was fun watching the kids parttake in family tradition, Hawaiian style.

I miss my kids so much and my cat Dusty.

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Hawaiian Fir Tree

“Christmas is the keeping-place for memories of our innocence.” ― Joan Mills

My first Hawai'ian fir tree. I'm used to California-grown trees, and this was certainly interesting to watch Axel string lights on the tree. Literally, he had to use string to keep the lights from dangling. It took him a couple hours. He did a great job. Tomorrow, they will add decorations to the tree.

This is the first Christmastime that I have been away from my family in California.  Hawaii is an experience and new chapter in my life.  

Decorating Aunt Jeri's Tree

“Mankind is a great, an immense family... This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas.” ― Pope John XXIII

 

Ever since my sister Jeri moved into her Fountain Valley apartment in 1999, she always had my children come over to decorate.  First it was with my daughter, then my son Kalib, and then my son Christopher.  

Considering this is the first Christmas my kids and I would be apart, she sent me photos of them decorating her tree.  You couldn't understand the emotional pain I experienced seeing my kids having so much fun, when I was feeling so incredibly sad.  I know inside they were hurting because I was not there, but I am glad my sister was able to give them some sort of normalcy during this difficult time.  She kept the tradition going and for that I am so grateful.

Christmas Music Concert

“When purchasing gifts becomes the focal point of the season, we lose focus on what's truly important.” ― Joshua Fields Millburn

 

For the Christmas season, the children from Waianae Intermediate's school band got to perform at Ala Moana Mall.  Hekla was performing on her trumpet for the Christmas concert.  It was my first time seeing her play.  She did well and she had her whole entourage to cheer her on from the balcony.

My First Hawaii Santa Claus

“What do you think of Christmas?" "I like it," she said. "I think we should have it every year.” ― Liz Flaherty, One More Summer

 

I really enjoyed taking my kids to see Santa when hey were little.  I know I certainly was ecstatic the time I met Santa.  After not being near my kids for 4 months, I decided to go see Santa for fun.  I asked him if it was ok to have an adult take pictures with him, considering I put on weight and Trevor is not a small man.  Santa assured me that he's had numerous Polynesians on his lap and they aren't small people, and we weren't too old, because old women have sat on his lap plenty of times.  

He posed us and the pictures came out great.