Green Bay Packers Ornament

“I truly believe that if we keep telling the Christmas story, singing the Christmas songs, and living the Christmas spirit, we can bring joy and happiness and peace to this world.” ― Norman Vincent Peale

I ordered these Green Bay Packers NFL ornaments in Trevor's tradition of a new ornament every year.  I received them tonight.  

I know when he comes back to Oregon, he will appreciate our first Packers ornament.  It's our team.  I wish I could use them, but I won't till he comes back.

I can't wait to see his reaction.

Merry Christmas Darling

"Merry Christmas Darling We're apart that's true But I can dream and in my dreams I'm Christmasing with you" -The Carpenters

It's Christmas Day, and though I am staying with Trevor's dad's widow, Tina, I feel lonely.  Christmas doesn't feel the same.  She doesn't put up a tree.  She doesn't buy and wrap gifts.  There's no Christmas music. 

I am, so very much, missing my fiance, Trevor.  He is incarcerated during this time, finishing an old sentence from before we met.  We have 3 more months of waiting for him to parole back to Oregon.  It is our first Christmas apart for the few years we have been together.  He is in Hawaii and I am in Oregon.  This is probably the hardest Christmas, yet.  I will make the best of it.

I miss everything about him.  His smile, his hands, his beard, his presence.  I miss how, even though I tell him NO GIFTS, he still gives me something.  

In the tradition of baking cookies, I have made powdered cherry almond chocolate chip cookies (made this up on my own, with leftover ingredients) and peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.  Wish I could share them with Trevor and my kids.

Chocolate makes it all better, but I would rather have my family.

Christmas 2019

“Were I a philosopher, I should write a philosophy of toys, showing that nothing else in life need to be taken seriously, and that Christmas Day in the company of children is one of the few occasions on which men become entirely alive.” ― Robert Lynd

 

My nephew Daniel, knowing how depressed I have been, decided to pick me up from Salem and take me to his place in Portland for Christmas.  They had a gift under their tree for me and I had a gift for them.  They gave me a Bath and Bodyworks Winter Apple trio (and it smells so good).  I got Daniel a Green Bay Packer's throw blanket and Pam some European chocolates.  I was just happy to be around family, even if just one family member.  In Trevor's tradition, I got us a Green Bay Packer's ornament for a future Christmas tree.

Christmas Eve 2019

“At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe.” ― Chris Van Allsburg, The Polar Express

 It was as Merry as I could be on Christmas Eve of 2019.  My fiance Trevor is in Hawaii and I am in Oregon, and all my kids are in California.  I wanted to send him some photos, so these are what I sent him.  The Green Bay Packers spanked the Minnesota Vikings, yesterday.  Woo-hoo!

A Very UnChristmas Feeling

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall” ― Larry Wilde

Trevor's father James Franklin Dillard's widow, Tina, allowed me a room in her home, finally.  I was "sleeping" (the days I could actually get some peace and quiet) in her living room.  It's incredibly loud here, between the television, talking, and three dogs barking. 

I don't currently have a table but this was what Trevor and I used for our pantry food at our old apartment. 

I dug up our little tree and decorated for myself. I miss having our own place and sharing our holidays together. It feels desolate without him here.

Just a few greeting cards came in.  I only want the one from my fiance.

Decking the Tree

“Remember, if Christmas isn't found in your heart, you won't find it under a tree.” ― Charlotte Carpenter

Pam decorating her tree

I haven't had a lot of Christmases with my nephew.  I remember when he was little, and all his siblings were small.  Every once in awhile, we would make it down to San Diego, California and bringing gifts for April's children. 

April is passed now, and Daniel lives in Oregon.  My only family member in this state.  I am glad he has been bringing me out of the house and over to his place.  It makes my time alone feel less lonely.

My nephew Daniel's girlfriend is decorating their tree in Portland, Oregon.  This is the first time I've seen LED lights on a Christmas tree.  They are supposed to be safer and more energy-efficient.

Santa Claus 2019

“Hey, great idea: if you have kids, give your partner reading vouchers next Christmas. Each voucher entitles the bearer to two hours' reading time *while the kids are awake*. It might look like a cheapskate present, but parents will appreciate that it costs more in real terms than a Lamborghini.” ― Nick Hornby, The Polysyllabic Spree

Since my bearded man is away, I went to see this bearded man.

My nephew Daniel took me to Woodburn, Oregon to take a photo with Santa Claus.  It was super cold outside this tiny kiosk and I think I was the only adult guest to sit with Santa for pictures fo the day.  

Trevor is still in Hawaii, so I decided a professional photo with Santa would cheer him up.  It came out better than expected.  I also went and made copies to send to my mom.

Christopher's Christmas Jacket

“I manage a toast to the Christmas tree
and one to the sweet absurdity
in the miracle of the verb to be.
Lucky you, lucky me.”
― Miller Williams

While in Oregon, I ordered some gifts for my children in California.  My son, Christopher, gave me the wrong size.  So, when he opened his gift for Christmas 2018, his jacket was too small.  My sister, Jeri, exchanged the jacket to one that fit him better.  

Here is my handsome son with his jacket in January of 2019, when it finally got to him.  He looks cozy.  California winters are not nearly as freezing as Oregon winters.  

I'd rather be in Hawaii for a tropical Christmas under a palm tree.